we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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