Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
