she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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