You're so nebulous sometimes
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You are the jesus of drinking
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
