yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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