I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
