:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
