Screwed.edu
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
