her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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