The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dick very happy bro
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
