What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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