ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
