Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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