every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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