the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
