I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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