Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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