can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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