First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
