how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
