Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
