I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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