My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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