How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
