So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
