Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i barfeds in our rink
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
