I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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