Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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