The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
3pm strippers are depressing
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
