At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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