I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
In America we eat man semen.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She even gives head with a lisp.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
