Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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