I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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