...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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