her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
