he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
