Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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