Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
