a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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