How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
