would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I am one with the molecules
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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