But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Everything about him screamed your future.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
