I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
do herpes really smell.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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