i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's always time for handjobs
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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