Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
