Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
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Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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