Do you still have your period?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
