It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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