...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Use "feeling words"
Yay
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
