I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
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