Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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