Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
