ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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