Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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