Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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