i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
