Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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