Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
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God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
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Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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