Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
