Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
