obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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