He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
