i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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