He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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