I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
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