So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
