I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
