I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
