bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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