OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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